Contrary to popular belief, hangovers don’t necessarily follow a night of “Oh, shit, I blacked out and have no clue what happened… Did I kiss anyone I shouldn’t have?”
Hangovers happen due to dehydration. Simply put, your body processes 1 drink per 1 hour; drink more than that and your body starts accumulating alcohol instead of water.
And so, you wake up with a hangover: a headache, low blood sugar, dry mouth, red eyes, and possibly nausea. But what can you do to feel better and fast?! According to the internet, many many things. According to me, 1 of 4 things.
I have personally tried and tested several “Hangover Cures”; here is what works and what doesn’t.
Duh! Wake up and get chuggin’; you’re dehydrated, so the only logical place to start is by replacing all the water you’ve lost.
Never mind that they’re the single most delicious food group – I mean, bread, pasta, pastries… sigh – Carbs are also the savior when it comes to hangovers, as they regulate your blood sugar; toast with cheese, oats, cornflakes, ka’ak… Go for carbs and feel no guilt – they’re the cure!
Obviously, when you feel that head pounding, you’ll be reaching for some painkillers. And thankfully, they do help. Just make sure you take the right type. Go for aspirin or ibuprofen (Advil, Brufen, or Motrin). But stay away from Tylenol. Doctors say Tylenol mixed with alcohol can cause liver damage over time.
They say prevention is the best cure. So before you head out for drinks, make sure you eat something sustainable. Food reduces the body’s alcohol absorption, which means less alcohol is left in your blood stream.
As for eating after you get a hangover, refer to #2.
What Doesn’t Work:
“Uh, no? I need that cupp’a Joe or I can’t function, dude!”
Then quit nagging about your hangover. Otherwise, drop that mug and forgo the coffee for this morning. Coffee is dehydrating, and since you’re already dehydrated from last night… Well, just do the math.
Some very bright individuals will probably feel so smart telling you:
“Bro, just have another drink the moment you wake. You won’t feel a thing!”
Yeah, sure. Stay drunk, then you won’t have to get hungover. Makes sense! But just in case you didn’t plan on replacing your daily water intake with alcohol, and if you didn’t want to come across as alcoholic – you know, by drinking a Vodka Redbull at 9 a.m. – you’ll pass on that bit of advice, and stick to what actually works.
I’ve heard this over and over. Most of us crave mozzarella sticks and fries at 4 a.m. after a night of heavy drinking. But imagine waking up with the mother F of headaches and extreme nausea… I mean, the last think I’d be thinking of is eating a greasy burger. Cause that’ll just get my stomach more upset!
Trust me. I’ve tried.
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See you soon with another glass of red!